Moving Day

I have to start this post by explaining the day before moving day. Ryan and I woke at 3:45am to get him to the airport to catch a 6am flight to Los Angeles. We had finally collected all the necessary documents for him to file for his visa, and he had to appear in person at the Italian consulate in LA to sign everything. After I dropped him off, got home and laid in bed for 45 minutes, I got back up to wake the kids up for school.  As Kate and Clark were ready for their last day of school, Clark threw up. Seriously? The one day that he has to say goodbye to all his friends and teachers, share a special snack with his class and clean out his desk, and he gets sick?! He did go to a carnival with my sister Nancy the night before, so I'm hoping this was a side effect of too many rides. He said he felt better after throwing up, so I took him to school and told him that he felt sick at all - call me.
For the next few hours, things seemed to be going pretty well. I had spend the whole week packing and preparing. On Thursday my beautiful friends came over to help me pack EVERYTHING. I spent that morning doing a last load of laundry, taking everything out of the showers, bathrooms, bedrooms and anything else we had lurking around my moms house, and put it all out in the living room.  When my lovely ladies came over- we go it ALL packed up in about 2 hours. I have to stop to explain what it entails to pack the bags to move your family. I had 9 'trunks' and 5 Samsonite 'tote a ton' bags, 2 duffel bags and a suitcase to fit everything into. Now the trunks are better for hard or stackable things, while the samsonite bags worked great for clothes. The airline only lets you take 50lbs in a bag. If you go over, (only up to 70 lbs max) it's $100. That being said, it's quite the tetris game to get the right stuff into the right bag at the right weight. Food was by far the heaviest. Did you know one big jar of Skippy is 8lbs?! I found that I would pack a 'tote a ton' bag of clothes, weigh it, and whatever lbs I had available, i filled it with heavy food items. On the trunks, I did the opposite. Put heavy things on the bottom, and as it got close to the 50lb mark, filled the top with lighter stuff (clothes, blankets, jackets ect).
So needless to say, the fact that we got 11 bags packed in 2 hours - is quite a feat!
Now back to my day. RIght after lunch I got a call from Clark. I thought he was going to tell me he was sick and needed to come home. It was worse. He left his retainer on the table at lunch and when he went back, it was gone. UGH. He hasn't even had the dang thing for 3 weeks. I told him to go back to the lunchroom and ask the lunch ladies if they had seen it.
About this time, Ryan has been into the consulate, got his visa paperwork turned in, and is now driving himself home. He calls me to tell me that a piece of metal flew up from the car in front of him and hit the car - he doesnt know how bad.
I pick the kids up from school. No retainer. We go looking everywhere for it. No deals. We get home and my sister Aimee came over to say goodbye. We went out on the front yard, Charly and JR were playing and Aimee on the porch talking to Kate and Clark. Kate was sitting on the rod iron fence on the porch, had her foot resting on the bottom of it, and when she jumped down, her foot got stuck and she landed face first on the ground. WHAT IS HAPPENING?? I'm so worried that she is going to loose her front teeth (that I just paid out the nose to straighten) and I'm going to have to call the dentist at 5pm on a Friday night to do emergency surgery on her mouth. Luckily the blood was mostly from her lip, and no wiggly teeth. Within 15 minutes of that happening, JR slips on the floor and lands flat on his back  and then bonks himself in the face. WHY is hell combining against me???
After that, things started to calm down. We ate dinner, got kids ready for bed and then had a very spiritual evening as Ryan, my dad and Ryan's dad gave us and the kids blessings. What a difference in the feelings I had. We went from utter chaos to peace. I am forever grateful for the power of the Priesthood, the worthiness of the men who performed the blessings, the Spirit that was felt and the inspired words spoken. After lots and hugs, the reality that we were leaving set in. The kids were crying and started naming all the people they were going to miss. This was hard. It made me cry even more. You can't console your child when you yourself are sad for the very same reason. Eventually they went to bed, and I finished last minute packing. We had more family come over to say goodbye - visited with them and finally Ryan and I went to bed about midnight.
I woke up at 4:45 and got ready for the day. Woke the kids up just after 6 to get them all ready to go. After getting everyone dressed and fed, we move on to loading up bags into trucks. Ryan's dad came over and between his truck and Ryan's truck - we fit it all. After last goodbyes, we were on our way to the airport just after 7am.

When we got to the airport, we were fortunate enough to get help with our bags and started the process of checking bags. We were such a circus. They were super patient with us, and I am proud to say that not one bag was overweight! I was patting myself on the back. After baggage was security. It didn't take too long, but I did loose some lotion- totally spaced that on the 3oz rule. Oh well.
Our first flight was from Phoenix to Atlanta. There was no available in-flight entertainment, so we used the iPad, our iPhones and every other electronic device we could. We colored, ate lunch , played with new toys and whatever else we could to keep the kids occupied. When we landed in Atlanta, we only had about an hour and half to get to our connecting flight to Rome. So it was a quick ride on the subway between terminals and straight to our gate. We only waited a few minutes until we boarded the plane and then got to wait an hour on the plane before we actually left. Did I mention that Ryan and I did not have lunch? I took lunchables for the kids, but figured we'd eat in Atlanta. Oops. Our flight to Rome, although it was 10 hours, was not bad. We did eat dinner and then they turn the lights off so you can sleep. On this airplane each seat had its own screen with lots of free movies and TV shows to choose from. Kate, Clark and Charly loved the endless supply of things to watch, however, JR did not like to keep his headphones on, and would loose interest quickly when he couldn't hear anything. All the kids did sleep for a few hours, but it was not restful. I think I dozed off a few times for a few minutes, but that's it. When we finally made it to Rome, I'm sure we all looked like death warmed over. We arrived in Rome about 9 am Rome time, which is about 1am Arizona time. I bought a new stroller before we left, and that made walking through the airports doable. With Charly and JR strapped in, we could handle anything!
We were amazed that all 17 bags of luggage made it to Rome. That's unheard of. All the other families that have moved over- NONE of them received all their bags the day they arrived. Thank you to all that prayed for us- it worked! We were quite the eyesore walking through the Rome airport with all our bags. There were 2 vans arranged to pick us, and our bags, up.  We first went to our apartment to drop off our bags and then to an apartment we would be staying in temporarily. Our apartment did not have the gas turned on yet, so no hot water or stove - hence the temporary apartment situation.
We got settled in at the temp apartment, then put the kids and ourselves,  down for naps.
At this point my brain was not working. I seriously couldn't form coherent sentences. I was exhausted. I think we had been awake for almost 30 hours at this point. We only let ourselves sleep for about 2 hours, knowing that if we slept longer- we'd never be able to sleep again at night.
When we woke the kids up from their nap - it was like waking the dead. They were out. And slightly mad that we had woke them up. It took us a while to get moving again and out the door. We needed to get some groceries and some dinner. We went to the mall - which has a grocery store in it. It's called Auchan's and is basically Walmart. We decided to get food first, and our first meal in Italy was at .........McDonalds. That's right folks. I had to laugh. But it was actually good for the kids to have something familiar, plus it was really easy. Not to mention that even in the mall- restaurants don't open for dinner until at least 7:30pm.  Note : the food at McDonalds in Italy is slightly different than in the US.
After our delicious (ahem) dinner at McDonalds, we braved the grocery store. We were still so tired that we walked around in circles - not really knowing what to get. We ended up with some sandwich meats, cheese, yogurt, cottage cheese, juice, fruit and veggies, eggs and of course - pasta.
We didnt get home from our first venture out until at least 8pm. We did baths, and got everyone in bed. Ryan and I went straight to bed too.
All things considered - it wasnt a horrible night, but Ryan ended up sleeping with JR in a twin bed on the floor and I ended up with the girls in their queen bed. We were up multiple times in the night, but by about 4am we all settled down and ended up sleeping in until 12:30pm! I couldn't believe it. It was a crazy 3 days, but we survived and keep surviving one day at a time.

*Warning : Moving Overseas May Cause Stress

I would be kidding myself if I thought that I have handled the last two months with any amount of grace.  Stress is one of those things that everyone deals with at one time or another , but rarely do we let other people see into our struggles. If I am to be honest in documenting this experience, then I must admit to our battles with stress along the way.
The stress of preparing our family to move has put me into the 'put your head down and push the handcart with all your might' mode. I have felt like my shoulder has been pushed to the wheel for a long time. Now, I am not afraid of hard work, in fact, most times I thrive on it. But the reality of the situation is, I cannot put my head down to push and forget to be a friend, daughter, mother and wife. I still have to be a person. This is my struggle. I emotionally go into hibernation and am unavailable to those closest to me. Here's an example:
I am terrible at waking up in the middle of the night with kids. Once they are sleeping through the night, I mentally check off that I don't have get up anymore. If I am in a deep sleep, I dont hear anything. If I do hear it, I'll get up and take care of whatever the need is. When we moved to my moms house, Charly and JR started waking up frequently through the night. One night Charly woke up and came to the side of my bed, and woke me up to tell me what was wrong. With half my brain still in la-la land, I turned to her and said, 'Can't you see I'm sleeping? Go back to bed' Say what?? How uncompassionate is that?! Ryan heard it and asked me if I realized what I just said. His question turned the other half of my brain on and I recognized that I  had no idea what had just come out of my mouth and how ridiculous, rude and unloving a response that was. I quickly got up and helped Charly back to bed.

More frequently were the times when I had just dealt with a setback or frustration, and Kate or Clark would ask me a question and I'd bite their head off. They had no clue what had happened that day, and I went from 0-60 on them. Not cool.
The hardest, I think, was the stress it put on our marriage. Now, I have to preface this by saying that I feel that Ryan and I have a great marriage. We have always prided ourselves on our ability to communicate, lack of disagreements, and that we genuinely love each other and like being together.
Over the last 2 months Ryan and I have had more fights than we'd like to admit. "Fight" being a technical term, I'd qualify them more as "tiffs". Small disagreements that turned into something bigger. Now we'd usually get over it in a few hours, but there were times we went to bed upset, started to snuggle in the middle of the night, and was then able wake up able to settle our differences. The frequency of our 'tiffs' increased the closer we got to moving day, when we had more to accomplish in a shorter amount of time. Stress induced? You betcha. Things that'd never cause hurt feelings or anger, did. Words and tones that were rarely ever used, seemed to be spoken often. It felt like every few days we'd say to the other, "Can we be friends again? I'm done fighting".
About 10 days before the move, we went up to the cabin for the day to help my dad cut up a tree he had cut down. More than once that afternoon, when the work was done, my dad said, "Why don't you and Ryan stay here and we'll take the kids home?" We had prior commitments that required us to go home, and I think we were both so frazzled that the offer of a night together just didn't even seem possible. A few days later, when we were all home at my parents house again, my dad approached Ryan and I separately and again offered to watch the kids so we could go to the cabin and have a little getaway before the chaos of the move took over. We both gave it half a thought, but then found out my sister Bridgett and her family we're headed there for the weekend. Oh well. On Friday night we went out for dinner and to run errands and actually ran into my sister Bridgett, and found out their plans changed and they did not go to the cabin. We decided that night we'd leave in the morning and come home Sunday.
I have to say, my dad is truly inspired. We needed that trip. We drove the LONG way there- through Globe and up to ShowLow, then down to Christopher Creek - and we were in no hurry, no deadlines, and no kids creating a schedule. We spent the time in the truck talking - really talking - and being friends again.
I am grateful for my dads persistence.
That all being said - we have come out better through this stressful time. We have navigated the increased 'tiffs' and figured out how to come out of them together. It is making our marriage stronger. Marriage is something you CONSTANTLY have to work on. After 10 years, it is easy to let the stress of life give you the excuse to put your head down, push through, and forget that you have a partner to help you - if you remember to let them in. I can see how couples can drift apart. It doesn't take much, and over time, those mole hills turn into mountains.  I am truly grateful for Ryan, he is the one to pull me back when I start to put my shoulder to the wheel without him. It truly is the Lord's plan for us to have a companion to work through this life with. I feel so lucky to have Ryan as that companion. We make a good team, but only when we put each other first and work on that relationship first.

Stress? Lots of it.

Fights? Yep.

Would I trade it? Never.

To Do List

We're moving to Italy! Yahoo!

Wait, what? How the heck am I supposed to move my family to a foreign country? Where do you even start?
Well, here's what I have discovered in the last 2 months.

We knew the move was going to happen quickly, so Ryan and I decided our first order of business was to get out of our house. We were lucky enough to be renting our home, so by about January 15th, we decided to move out of our rental by the end of the month. Why move out so quickly? One, we didn't know exactly when Ryan would start working in Rome, two, I didn't want to end up having to move by myself, and three, there was no point in paying another month of rent.
Then started the process of going through everything in the house. We lived in a 5 bedroom, 2500sq ft house, so you can imagine all the STUFF hiding in drawers and closets and rooms. Too much stuff.
At this same time we found out that we would only be taking with us what bags we checked on the airplane.  We could take 2-3 bags per person - giving us about 18 bags total. Yikes. How do you pack your whole family in 18 bags? Get rid of most of it. That was the answer I came to.
We talked about having a garage sale.  Ryan DESPISES garage sales and begged me not to do one. I wanted to give my stuff to people who I knew would use it and benefit from getting free stuff (we can all benefit from free stuff, right?!). The solution was to set up my front room like a garage sale and I opened it up to my friends and family to come in and take whatever they wanted. Some people asked me, "How can you just give away all your stuff?" It was actually quite liberating. It was so freeing to get rid of stuff I didn't NEED. We did keep stuff- and filled a whole storage unit with our keepsakes and things worth keeping. But I'm of the mindset that I gain more by giving. Plus, somethings were not worth the price of taking more bags on the airplane, or putting in storage for 3 years. I also got rid of pretty much everything in my pantry. I love food, so I think parting with my canned fruit and big Costco bags of flour, sugar and oats was harder than clothes or household stuff. But it's just stuff, and stuff comes and goes.
Everything that didn't get taken by friends and family was donated to The Salvation Army. I put it out in my yard and scheduled a truck to come get it. Way easier than a garage sale.
Once that was all done, I just had to decide what was going to storage and what was coming with us to my parents house and then on to Italy. Looking back now, I wish I had had a bit more insight at this point. I've already had to re-buy lots of stuff that I didn't think I'd need, or packed up into storage. For example- measuring cups and spoons. Italy is metric my friends. No such thing as a teaspoon. And after visiting there- there is no such thing as Walmart, Target and the Dollar Store to just go pick these things up at. Oh well.
Next - the move to my parents house. I need to pause and thank my parents for letting us live with them. Their house was nice, quiet and clean before we arrived. Not only do they put up our messy-ness but also the constant need and want of attention from the kids. (I know they secretly love it, but we do wear them out!!)
After moving all of us to my parents and putting everything else in storage, it was time to clean the house we were renting and get it ready to turn over to the landlord. That was a TON of work, and I couldn't have done it without the help of my friends and family. When we finally turned the keys over and drove away for the last time, I couldn't help but cry. We really loved that house and I was planning on staying there for years. I wanted to stay there until we were ready to move into our "live here for the next 30 years" house. It was a great neighborhood, location and ward. Plus, for me- I identify with my home. ( I think most women do) and we had officially stepped into 'limbo land'. No real home, nothing that was "our space". Little did I know we'd be there for 2 months.
On February 6th, Ryan and I took a week trip to Rome to find housing, visit the jobsite and hopefully get more clarity as to what we needed to do and what to expect. We had high hopes of a 'vacation getaway' for the 2 of us, but it was nothing like that. We got there on Saturday, but our luggage did not. It was patiently waiting for us in New York. Luckily we each packed one change of clothes in our carry on, and thank heavens I packed my makeup! Sunday we went to church and thanks to Ariane Woods and Caroline Fenn, Ryan and I had adequate attire for church.
A little side note about the LDS church in Rome. There are 2 wards that meet at the same time (one starting 30 minutes before the other) in an old bank that was converted to an LDS meetinghouse. The Primary kids from age 3-12 all meet in the same room for the full 2 hours of primary, but do get to enjoy snacks- even on Fast Sunday! The other meetings are the same as you'd find in any LDS church. Sunday School, Relief Society, Priesthood and Sacrament meeting. We were lucky enough to have American missionaries serving there who translated for us. In Sacrament Meeting, one of the Elder missionaries translates into a microphone and all the English speakers wear little earpiece headphones to listen to the meeting. I loved it. The Spirit was there, and I could feel the members love of the Gospel and Jesus Christ. I did feel a strong desire to learn Italian quickly, as I can't have a calling, bear my testimony, serve or share until I can do it in Italian. I'm working on it. Language is not my thing- but I'm trying!
Monday through Thursday we spend looking at apartments. We did not do this alone. We had a translator , Stephano, setting up our appointments, taking us to them and translating everything for us. By the end of the week, we were basically best friends with Stephano.
Apartment hunting. You need to understand that there is no such thing as a house in Rome. Non existent. Everyone lives in apartments. Also, Rome is OLD. Apartments are OLD. Granted, most of them have been remodeled and perhaps updated, but that doesn't change the layout of the apartment. Some we looked at were just weird. Most are small. Especially the kitchen. I don't understand it, but we Americans love our big open kitchens. In Italy, its as big as a walk in closet. And the fridge! Tiny. So needless to say, we looked at a lot of apartments trying to find one that would work for 4 small kids. We did not want to go home without finding an apartment. We wouldn't have another chance and would have to rely on someone else to just get us something. We did find a brand new apartment that was close to the jobsite, but it was SMALL. No living area. We thought- this is as good as it's going to get. Then Thursday we had one last apartment to look at. We walked in and instantly knew this is what we wanted. It was a great layout, lots of living space, 3 balconies, and had been recently updated. It has a big open community yard, a swimming pool and a tennis court. It is off a private drive, backs up to national protected land and has a parking garage. It's perfect. We loved it. So, now what?
Renting an apartment in Italy is similar to process of buying a house in the US. Friday we spent 3 hours in the realtors office signing the "proposal". Basically making an offer to the owner of the house. It was a big fiasco getting them a "deposit" because we do not have an Italian bank account and figuring out how we would pay rent. Our only option was a bank wire transfer.
Next on the "To Do List", meet with the lawyers in Rome to start the work Visa process. We are STILL working on this. It is a nightmare. Everyone we talk to has a different answer, and I'm not even sure anyone know the exact process for doing it. Ryan is technically hired under the Architect for the job, VCBO, and this a position they have never had someone hired under. If he were an employee- they know exactly how to do that. But hes not. He's an independent contractor, so it a whole new ball game for everyone. VCBO is in Salt Lake City and so the Italian consulate they work with is in  San Fransisco. We live in Mesa, and our Italian consulate is in Los Angeles. The question we are still figuring out is, do we go through San Francisco because our "employer" is in Utah, or do we go to LA because our business is based in Arizona. Ryan met with an Italian Console in Phoenix last week, and we feel like we are maybe headed in the right direction. And just so you know- we still don't know if I have to file for my own Visa, or if I can fall under Ryan's. But don't worry- we've paid lots of money to have 'certified' xerox copies of our marriage license and the kids birth certificates, only to pay more money to have the right International Seal put on it. Moses. Did I loose you? I haven't even given you all the details of how much run around we've done to get what little information we have.
Back to our Rome trip. After meeting with lawyers, we had one night left in Rome. We stopped in at St. Peter's square outside the Vatican (couldn't go inside because by the time we got to sight see everything was closed), had gelato, dinner, saw the Pantheon, Spanish Steps, more gelato and last the Piazza Navona. So no, we did not sight see much while we were there. But I was totally ok with it. That's not why we were there and knowing that I will be living there and can see that stuff anytime- made it easier.
A few other things we did while we were in Rome. Went to the mall multiple times. Checked out IKEA in hopes of finding some furnishings for our apartment, went to the cell phone store to figure out how the heck to have a working cell phone there and visited their big grocery store - Ashauns. It is comparable to a Walmart. I wanted to see what I could and could not buy in Italy. For the most part- you can get "American food" - it's just really expensive. A very small jar of peanut butter is $6. There is no corn syrup, american cheese, and everything comes in very small amounts. Except Nutella. You can buy that by the bucket.
We also visited the school the kids will be attending. It's called the American Overseas School of Rome. Its a private American school, and everything is in English. They will learn Italian, just like you have Art and PE. The principal told us that they will learn more Italian on the playground than in the classroom. There are kids from all over the world at this school, but Italian is the common language- so thats what the kids speak most. It's a great school and very comparable to the school they are in now. I admit, I am still very sad to pull them out of Archway Arete here. Its a phenomenal school. But AOSR is great, and they will learn things there that they could never learn here.
I think that just about sums up our trip in Rome. On our way home we made a list of everything that needed to be done before we could move. Over the last 6 weeks, every time I cross of one thing, I add 3 more.

Here's some things we've done:
  
- Passports. Before we left for Rome we started the process of getting kids passports. I won't go into all the details, but lets just say we experienced the government at its finest, and had to take all 6 of us TWICE to get the process complete. Since Ryan and I both already had passports, we traveled to Rome on those. Now, our passports expire in a year, so when we got home, we had to renew them. Lets just say we were not as efficient in the  renewing of our passports and had to take a day to drive to Tucson to go to the consulate there. I wont even tell you how much it costs to get 6 expedited passports. 

- Kids. Kate needed to have her annual eye exam, and of course, got a new prescription. One more trip to Costco to get new glasses. Charly and JR needed shots- and since we didn't have medical insurance, I took them to the county to get free shots. Everyone told us we needed to see the pediatrician before we left, so I paid $300 to have the Dr. tell me they were healthy and gave me absolutely no advice for living in a foreign country. Oh, and then Charly had a birthday, so she was old enough to get more booster shots. Back to the county for free shots. I also have done a ton of shopping for them. Clark's Sunday shoes just magically got too small, Charly needed jammies, Kate needed new boots and shorts. Kate and Clark wear uniforms to school now, so I really have not bought them 'regular clothes', so they are in need of just about everything. Plus, I have no idea where to go shopping in Rome- and I figure it's probably cheaper here- so might as well stock up on a few essentials. 

Kate and Clark also needed to get their braces off. They were approaching the year mark to take them off anyways, so we had lots of appointments to get as much done as possible before they took them off, and then to get retainers after they were off. 

- School. I've spent lots of hours at the computer filling out applications for the new school and scanning and emailing all the needed documents. I have a book for Kate and Clark that I have all their teachers sign, so I made sure to get that done before we left. 

- Shopping. After finding out what I could and could not get in Italy- I've made lots of trips to Walmart and Costco to stock up on stuff. For instance- they dont have Old Spice deodorant in Italy, and thats the only one Ryan likes- so I bought 8 sticks of deodorant. There is no such thing as Mexican food in Italy, so I got dried pinto and black beans, green chilis, and chipoltle peppers. I also got peanut butter, cocoa powder, corn syrup, ranch, oats, ibuprofen, kids medicine, make- up, crasins, nuts and snack foods that the kids eat (fishies, fruit leather, go-go squeeze). Now, I don't plan on trying to re-create my American diet in Rome, in fact, I'm quite excited to adopt the Italian cuisine. But I did want a few things that make it feel 'at home' and to ease the transition. Everything is going to be so different, so having some familiar foods, hopefully, will help. Plus, it'll be fun every once in a while to have a "mexican' dinner. 

I also bought a years supply of contacts, contact solution, toothpaste, and for me, HAIR STUFF. I bought stuff for me to color my hair, and my favorite shampoo, conditioner, dry shampoo and styling products. Not that I wont be able to find some of that stuff there- I'm just so used to buying it whole sale, paying full price in a salon is maddening. 

- IKEA. Ryan and I took a day to go to IKEA and pick out stuff for our apartment. IKEA is really the only place to buy home furnishings in Rome. Again, no Target or Walmart. After spending the morning picking out couches, beds, dressers, a desk, kitchen table and other odds and ends, I spend the afternoon on the 'IKEA Italy' website looking up product codes for the store in Rome. I also had to get on the 'Media World' (aka Best Buy of Italy) to find a TV, washer/dryer, mixer, blender, microwave and other household electronics.

- Sell our cars. We sold our Yukon XL about 2 weeks ago and Ryan's truck goes up this weekend. 

- Electronics. We bought Ryan a work laptop and us an iPad. Then last week, my phone started dying, of course, and Ryan bought me a new iPhone. I was so mad at him. He's needed a new phone for a long time, but has been putting up with it. My phone stopped picking up the touch screen, and when it did that - I couldn't do anything. Texting became rather annoying. 

- Health Insurance. I wont bore you with the details on this one- suffice it to say- we tried multiple times to get health insurance through Healthcare.gov , and finally went with an international policy. Ryan got to bite the bullet for this one and spent a whole day on the phone with the insurance broker and then on the computer filling out the documents to get us signed up.

I'm sure I could keep going and going, but this post is dragging on, and it's already taken me 3 days to finish it! Basically all the things that you say ' I really should get that done', or 'It'd be really nice to do this', but never get around to it - I did in the last 6 weeks. On top of laundry, homework, dinner and all the other things that moms do on a daily basis. 

Now that we are down to the last week, the last and biggest "to do" of all - PACK. Remember those 15-18 bags? I've got to fit all that stuff in them and make sure they don't weigh more than 50 lbs. 

So how did I do it all?  Two words. 


DIET COKE.

The New Job

This post is hard to write, because, where do I even begin? In my mind, the steps leading up to this decision started months, even 2 years ago. I wont go back and give all the details, but I will start the story about 8 months ago. Ryan had been working for Okland Construction for over 8 years and was feeling burnt out, tired, frustrated and ready to find something new. After months of working 80-100 hours a week, we knew enough was enough and it was time to move on. After months of fasting and prayer we knew that the right thing for him to do was to quit.  We had purchased a pool franchise about a year earlier, and with the growth that it was getting, it was hard for Ryan's partner to do it single handedly. So the decision was made to put all our eggs in the ASP (America's Swimming Pool Company) basket and move forward. So in June of 2014 Ryan said goodbye to Okland and commercial construction. It was the hardest thing we have done as a married couple. Ryan loves construction and is very talented in it, but he felt that it was time to put his family first and do something that would enable him to have a little more time at home.
Being small business owners has its own challenges and we experienced all of them. I'm not sure Ryan worked any less hours, he was just at home for half of them! Lots of late nights of accounting and long days in the sun, but the kids got to see Ryan more than they had in years. Ryan loved being his own boss and the flexibility of owing your own business.
In October/November the business was doing a lot of full backyard remodels and Ryan was starting to step away from the pool side of the business and do more with his personal contractors license. He set up his own business, Arcadia Building Co., and he was feeling the desire to do what he's good at- construction. He was starting to get lots of business doing small commercial work and even started the planning stages of 2 custom homes. With all this new work, we were looking for a way to get out of ASP and focus on building Arcadia. In December, right before Christmas Ryan got in touch with a friend, Bret Woods, who was moving his family to Italy to build the Rome temple. Bret works for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, and they became friends working together on the Gilbert temple. Ryan jokingly told Bret, "if you need help in Rome, let me know!"
Within a week, Okland contacted Ryan and asked him if he would come back to Okland if they sent him to Rome. I guess the Church asked some of the contractors who had done work for them in the past, if they had any employees who would fit what they were looking for in Rome.
Within days from that phone call, Bret called Ryan and asked him if he would be interested in going to Rome. He of course said YES! and told Bret about Okland contacting about the same thing.
So here's the dilemma- we want to go to Italy badly, but what is the best way to get the job? Through Okland? On our own, independently through Arcadia?
Ryan decided to meet with Okland and see what their offer would be. After that meeting, he felt sick.  It didn't feel right and he was reminded of all the reasons he left Okland. We both had anxiety for days. Lots and lots of prayers for direction. After about a week, Ryan got a call from Bret, asking if he'd come to Salt Lake City for an interview with the LDS church directly. That call was on a Friday and the interview was the next Wednesday. I had so much anxiety. I couldn't sleep. It felt like Christmas Eve for a week. You cant help but get excited and get your hopes up and then talk yourself down, so you're not disappointed if it doesn't pan out. Then the woman in me starts planning the move, anticipating all the changes, and what I'd need to do to make it happen. Again, lots of prayers and fasting.
When Wednesday finally came, I couldnt do anything to calm the anxiety. I waited anxiously by my phone for any word from Ryan. As we communicated through the day, he told me about the meetings he had, and that he felt good about them. To me - that was HUGE. Ryan was calm and peaceful- which was complete opposite of how he felt when he had the meeting with Okland.
At the end of the day, they told him they'd let him know the next day whether or not he got the job.
Thursday was another day full of anxiety. Finally about 2 pm we got the call that he got the job and we were moving to ROME!! Ryan was being hired as an independent contractor to help with the construction of the Rome Italy temple.
WHAT?!! This does not happen people. Especially to us. We thought building the Gilbert temple was a once in a lifetime opportunity (which it was), but to be given this opportunity is beyond description. It just felt right. It made everything else clear. It gave us the opportunity to cut ties with ASP and get Ryan back into what he loves, construction. This is his dream job. You know how you talk about your dream job- well, he finally got it. Now he can be in construction, and use all his knowledge and talents, but he is not the contractor. He is not the one with his feet being held to the fire. He works for the owner as a construction consultant and helps them coordinate with the contractor.
I can only express gratitude for this amazing opportunity, for me and especially for my kids. It leads me to think, 'of all the people in the world who would die for this opportunity, why us?' And realize that The Lord has stuff in store for ALL of us to do while we are there. I firmly believe where much is given, much is required. I have been given much and I too must give. I am ready and willing to do whatever the Lord asks of me. Not to say that it's not hard. The last two months have been HARD. (that'll be the next post) But we can do hard. I'm not scared, I'm ready. I know moving and living in a foreign county is going to be HARD. Exciting? Yes. But excitement only gets you so far. I know it will be hard, and there will be weeks and months ahead where I will say to myself, 'what the heck am I doing?' But I'm ready. The best things in life are not easy.
So here we go. Off to Italy. Lets do this.