I Believe In Miracles

It has been a long time since I have posted on the blog, half because I didn't feel like there was anything noteworthy to talk about, and the other half - well, if I didn't write about it, maybe the time would go by faster, or this little hiccup in the road would go by unnoticed.

We have been back in Arizona almost three months. The kids had a great summer of swimming, cousins, grandmas and grandpas, cabin trips and all their favorite American things - Chic Fil-A, dill pickles, cold cereal, cub scouts, Netflix and riding in the back seat of a full sized suburban instead of a Fiat Freemont.

 Kate and Clark started school at Franklin at Brimhall (they attended there in Kindergarten. I couldn't get them back into Great Hearts because they were 126 and 127 on the waiting list!) in August and have been really happy there. They have rekindled old friendships and made new ones. Charly started preschool three days a week and is upset if she doesn't get to play at a friends house every day. She is loving all the back to school shopping we have done, and, I'm learning is quite the little diva when it comes to clothes. JR is approaching his third birthday, and as such, has taken a new level of independence, disobedience, and stubbornness along with his increased ability to reason and argue. (He really does take after his name sake - my Dad, and his best friend- Paco) In the same breath he is witty, loving, and still likes to snuggle with me. We've tried potty training, but to no avail. It will be on his own time- not mine.

Life really has gone on as normal. Ryan has been traveling back and forth to Rome and each trip I pack his two suitcases full of stuff I cannot buy in Rome. To give you an idea of what I send, here's a list : kids medicines, zyrtec-D, fishy crackers, fruit snacks, protein bars, coconut oil, peanut butter, Mexican vanilla, kayro syrup, dough enhancer, school supplies, cake decorating sprinkles, canned pumpkin, green chilies, corn tortillas, milk chocolate chips and a few fall decorations. (no Halloween or Thanksgiving in Italy)

When we first moved back, we worked diligently to get all of Ryan's paperwork for a new visa together. He submitted his paperwork to the Italian consulate on August 20th. Once it was submitted, we had to wait for approval or denial. We were told that once we received his visa, he would then need apply for an Italian Residency Card. As soon as he had that residency card, the kids and I could go back. Here's the catch- it could take at least a month to get the visa, then another 2-6 months to get the residency card. That is a hard pill to swallow. Back in Arizona until January or longer? I couldn't go there mentally. I could not believe that we would be separated, and living in a temporary situation for that long. I knew that if there ever was a time for a miracle, now would be it. I knew that God could make the process quicker than that. I believe the scripture that says "for with God, nothing is impossible". I believe that God can perform miracles in our life, but we have to ask in faith, believing that we will receive it. I believed that God could work this miracle for us and figured that the more prayers and faith that accompanied mine- the better.

Ryan and I decided to have a family/friends fast the first Sunday of September. We asked our families to fast and pray that we would get his visa and the residency card in record time- so we could be reunited in Italy as soon as possible. The whole 24 hours I fasted, I felt at peace. I knew that it would work out- whatever that meant. I really wanted us to all be back in Italy before the end of October and asked specifically for that. Ryan said I was optimistic, but maybe not realistic. I knew that even if it didn't happen in the time frame that I wanted- whatever did happen would be what was best for all of us.

Wait some more.

 I will be honest- I am not a good single parent, nor am I a super independent person. I very much like having Ryan around, and am a better person and mom when he's home. Having him gone for three weeks at a time is hard, but I have felt a strength I know is not my own. I know many people have prayed for me- and I have felt the strength of their prayers. It is hard for me to be alone, and it has been a challenge for Ryan and I to stay close while he is in Italy and we are on completely opposite schedules.

Right around the same time as our fast, Ryan started working with a new immigration lawyer- one who does immigration for some of the top Fortune 500 companies in the US. Basically he knows what he's doing. He went through all of Ryan's paperwork and said that every thing looked in order, but that the type of visa we were applying for is THE most difficult to get, and nearly impossible. Well, it's a good thing that with God nothing is impossible. He also said that once we had the visa, we did not have to wait for the residency card. That was huge! We didn't have to wait another 2-6 months after getting his visa. I started to feel hope.  So I started praying more earnestly. I asked the kids to pray for 'Daddy's visa' at every single prayer.
And we did.

 After a long three weeks, Ryan came home Saturday September 12 for a short 9 days. I'm so glad when Daddy comes home! Just having him in the house made a big difference. He doesn't have to work while he is here- so we got to spend our days together going to the temple, working out at the gym, running errands and l got a break from chauffeuring kids around myself. We wanted to make the most of his time here and decided to take the kids to my parents cabin for a long weekend , leaving Thursday after school. We spent the time fishing, hiking (ok, more like walking in the woods), playing frisbee, taking naps and watching all three of the original Star Wars movies. It was a great weekend. It felt so good to have our little family together with no added stress of work, or everyday living.

Ryan and I had the "what if " discussion about his visa multiple times. What if we got it tomorrow? What if it didn't come at all? What if it got denied? What if it came in another month? We came to the conclusion that November 15th was our point of no return. After that date it made more sense to stay in Arizona until January. Let the kids finish the semester of school, stay for Christmas and then go back. We could technically go back the first week of October, but if we didn't get the visa and had to go a different avenue to get one- we'd run the risk of having to come back after 90 days again. So November 15th was the deadline, except that really meant October 15th was the deadline. In order to get 6 seats together on flights to Rome- you're booking at least a month out. No drop and go flights for us.

After having these little chats - it was hard for me to keep my optimism. I know Ryan was just trying to prepare me for the reality that it could be longer than what I had been praying for. I knew that- I just didn't want to think about it or accept it. Now it was looking at me straight in the face and I had to. A few times over the weekend I thought about how much I loved having all of us together and how it felt right and complete. I just wanted limbo land to be over. But I knew that there was a very real chance that I had a few more months of it. I felt like I was being selfish in asking God to fix this situation. I should just accept it. So many women have husbands gone more than I do, or don't have a husband at all - I have no reason to think it's so hard.

 With all of these thoughts on my mind - we went to church Sunday morning. There is a little branch of the LDS church in Christopher Creek, and that is where we went to worship. At one point in the service, the choir sang a song that spoke to me directly. I truly felt as if the words were from God to me. The hymn was "How Firm A Foundation" and these are the words that spoke peace to my heart:

In every condition, in sickness in health, 

In poverty's vale or abounding in wealth, 

At home or abroad, on the land or the sea-

 As thy days may demand, so thy succor shall be. 

 Fear not I am with thee, oh, be not dismayed, 

For I am thy God and will still give thee aid, 

I'll strengthen thee, help thee and cause thee to stand, 

Upheld by my righteous, omnipotent hand. 

When through the deep waters I call thee to go, 

The rivers of sorrow shall not thee o'erflow, 

For I will be with thee, thy troubles to bless, 

And sanctify to thee thy deepest distress. 

The soul that on Jesus hath leaned for repose, 

I will not, I cannot, desert to his foes, 

That soul, though all hell should endeavor to shake, 

I'll never, no never, no never forsake. 

There was my answer. Even if it did take another 3 months to get Ryan's visa, as long as I trusted God - I would be ok. I knew it was ALL in His hands. If He wanted us to get the visa now, we would. If He had reasons for us to wait longer, that's what would happen. All I had to do was trust in Him and follow Jesus Christ- and if I did that, I would not be alone. I would have His strength to help me get through it. It was so simple, yet powerfully comforting. And so, I let go. Let go of the worry, expectations, and fear of three more months of limbo.

All good things come to an end, and Monday morning Ryan left at 4am to get to the airport for his trip back to Italy. He first had a flight to Salt Lake City, then on to Atlanta then Rome. Right after his flight left Salt Lake for Atlanta, I got a phone call from Ariane Woods. (She lives in Rome- her husband Bret works at the temple with Ryan) She was trying to find a phone number to get a hold of me - as her husband Bret needed to talk to me. I was hopeful that was good news, but realized it was probably some information Bret needed that he couldn't get from Ryan because he was mid-flight. A few minutes later Bret called to tell me,

 RYAN GOT HIS VISA!!!

I was floored. I couldn't believe it. But yes, I could believe it. Our miracle happened. We got the visa exactly one month from the time we turned it in. Unheard of. This is an answer to many prayers. This is a tender mercy. This is a moment when you know that God loves you and wants you to be happy. He wants to give you what you want and ask for. Now our prayers have turned from asking for 'Daddy's visa' to thanking Heavenly Father for hearing and answering our prayers. I feel so blessed. I feel so spoiled. I cannot express my gratitude for my Heavenly Father and all the blessings I have received at His hand throughout my life.

So where does that leave us now? As soon as I hung up the phone with Bret I started looking at flights. The earliest flight with six seats together all the way to Rome is October 19th. Over the last two days Ryan has confirmed with the lawyer that the kids and I can come back without the residency card and today we booked our flights for Monday October 19th.

 It is bitter sweet going back to Italy. Arizona is where my friends and family are, but Rome is home. There are things I will miss about the U.S. , but I know Rome is where we are supposed to be. Having to say goodbye twice is, well, not cool- so I'm just not going to do it.

Ciao tutti!